Will and Trust

Will (with a capital W) is a funny thing. It's not something you can measure, or even something you can store. But it's the only thing worth keeping, outside of Love, close at hand. Love is number one. Without it, we're all just evolved dust mites clinging to a rock calling out to Horton to hear us. Love has to be the given. Beyond Love, there is Will. Will is what pushes you to go to work on the days when you're tired, to solve the insurmountable problem, to resolve the unreasonable conflict when it's frankly much easier to throw up your hands. Will moves mountains, changes minds, and changes cultures. Will is the fuel that moves the world.

That said, I acknowledge that there have been more instances than I can measure that Will hasn't been enough. One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn is that you can't make something happen, through the sheer wanting of it. No matter how much you want it. Even if it seems the most important thing in the world to want.

In those circumstances, Trust (with a capital T) needs to come into play. Trust comes in many forms. Some call it faith, some call it perseverance, some call it blind (and pointless) optimism. But it's hard to Trust. Hard to stand by, to "let go, and let God." I'm not conditioned that way. It's probably growing up with comic books as an influence. Captain America is a hero because he believes there's always a way, and works hard to find it. Like the catch phrase in Galaxy Quest, "Never give up, never surrender!" My favorite thrillers (check out Chasing the Dime, by Micheal Connelly, which I just finished and LOVED! or Paranoia by Joseph Finder) usually feature a hero trapped by circumstances, who finds a way against impossible odds to do what he needs to. What he has to.

As someone once said to me (actually about me, so I'm paraphrasing, here) "It's not going to get better just because you want it to! You can't wave your fairy wand and make it all better!" That's true. But by the same token, in any situation you have a choice-to assume the best with hope, or to accept the worst, with despair. I try to have the will to do what I can to make it better. And I try to have the Trust to believe it will come out okay, whether it gets better or not. My last pop culture reference in this blog is a line from a Micheal McDonald song, "You always have the chance to give up, so why do it now?" I forget the song, but the line stays with me. Why give up now? There'll be plenty of time to look back and acknowledge the false hope. But it's much easier to look back at false hope, then to look forward at certain cynicism. I still have the Will to believe there's a way that all things can come out the way that feels right. And the Will to work for that.

And, on the rare occassion that that fails, I have the Trust to accept, eventually, that where we end up is where we are supposed to be.